First of all I would like to thank my mom for making me the happiest son. Secondly thanks for giving me false hope since small.
Since small, damn I can still remember, why I remember? Coz that was what I wanted in my new year resolution. Since primary school I wanted to go escape theme park, you said yes will bring me one day and that one day stretched till today. I wanted to have ECA ( that was b4 it become CCA ), I get CCA but you force me to be out. I wanted to stay at 428 longer but you were impatient and shifted to 129 when I was primary 3. You said you wanted to support me for sports day but you never came. I can rarely step out of the house coz you ban me.
When secondary school, you curfew me everytime. I have to make reason to be out late. You wanted me to go poly but you argued with my dad during my O level study period, I got distracted, certain times I wanted to concentrate by studying outside but you prevent me and I have to study in a noisy environment. When I get to ITE you said its my dad's fault. Huh? No link. My bicycle got stolen several times, I beg you to buy a new one but at last I bought it myself using my saving. Except last last part you finally give me money to buy.
When I went to ITE, I start to smoke realising my dreams are being controlled and I cannot do anything cause you're my mom, I love you despite all the good things for me which is actually hate for me. You want me to be like a nerd opening books when got nothing to do. Go mosque frequently. Well that is a good point but at the same time I have no life. I have a deprived childhood as well as deprived teenhood. You control me coz you are afraid I go to bad thing but then think again, I will get knowledge but I will be lacking in experiences. If I were to listen to you 100% I won't have normal friends, I will have friends who will open book 24/7 and very angelic and when I become adult, I won't be able to explain what an average teenagers do. People will laugh at me.
Now I got motorcycle licence, you allow me to buy motorbike, I delayed for a long time to compare and calculate how much I can afford. At last you don't allow me for some negative reasons. Nothing that you say is positive. You kecewakan harapanku. But I have to tahan lah. I negeotiate to buy during ns or after ns but you still say no. You only allow me to buy after I got permanent job and after my studies. You disallow me to work after ns, you wanted me to study all over again. WHOA SEKSA sey. There are benefits la, I study again got better grades got better jobs, dah de lebih dari cukup duit untuk beli moto. But my age will be like 24 and above. That period of time is the time I should collect money to support my parents and siblings coz I will be the breadwinner. No more happy2 go riding lepak etc. My friends will also be in working life, they won't have time for all these. I will be regreting my whole life till old coz other people will get the thrill during teenagers years but I will only get a handful.
On second thought, I wanted to break away from your control partially. I will go against you by buying a motorbike without you knowing but I will have no guarantor. Hmm still it will be useless, cannot ride. No guarantor no go. Hmm tk pe lah memang dah ditakdirkan begini. This is my pathway of life
